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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139420">Sunday Morning Pills</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/diion/pseuds/diion'>diion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Character Death, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Love, M/M, Post-Break Up, Suicide, please do not read lightly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:55:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/diion/pseuds/diion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee Taeyong really believed Jung Jaehyun loved him, but as Saturday rolls into Sunday, he realizes that that may not be the case anymore. </p><p>So he ends it. </p><p>(Trigger warning for any of those who need it. Please do not read if this story will effect you in any way. Thank you.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sunday Morning Pills</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Last time, before the story begins, please read or do not read with caution. I want the best for any of the readers on this app, and I do not wish for this to cause any troubles, so please read with the best of mind. I love my readers, and I love the community here, so I want the best for everybody. </p><p>Now, you can exit, or continue on, it is up to you, but no matter what you choose I love you and you deserve the world &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heartbreak was everywhere. Every place you looked, every nook and every cranny, there was bound to be someone with their heart split into two. Where their whole body aches just from the thought of the past, and their mind clenched for the memories they once had. Heartbreak was not the easiest to find, for some could cover it up like the clouds cover the sun, and when you did find it, people never said what they meant. Every person always contradicted themselves, and always would say something they did not mean. It was an effect of heartbreak, the lying to oneself to make them feel better, to lessen the pain.</p><p> </p><p>Pain from heartbreak was strong though. The mental toll was high indeed, and in some cases so was the physical. It would suck your mind, leaving nothing but a dark and empty space full of nothing but cold and dense air. It could take your weight and take your blood. It could scar your skin and burn your body. It was a curse and it was wretched. Oh, it was terrible, and it hurt more than one could ever imagine. It could leave you thinking one day that there was nothing wrong, and that it was all just time, and the next you could be wondering why you want to die.</p><p> </p><p>That, is heartbreak.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong had never experienced heartbreak. He had a mom and dad, and though they were divorced, it was for the better so Taeyong was not mad. He also had an older sister, a very kind one at fact, that would always take care of Taeyong no matter the circumstance. He had an amazing childhood, even though he was not the richest, it was still filled with joy and happiness. Even now he felt that way, for he had an amazing group of friends, and of course, an amazing boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>His name was Jung Jaehyun, a photographer and waiter. Him and Taeyong had met in their last year of high school at the little convenient store that the elder had worked at. He had accidentally scanned a singular chapstick eight times, and Jaehyun being the money man he is, was not happy, so of course he complained. Taeyong being the people pleaser he is, of course, frantically tried to fix his mistake. And it was at that time that the two males had fallen in with each other, even if they practically knew nothing of each other. They would always see each other "coincidentally," seeing as it was "fate."</p><p> </p><p>It seems as though now, that none of that mattered. Even if fate was just an act back then, Taeyong still really believed that Jaehyun and him were meant to be. He believes that they were the perfect puzzle pieces, that they complimented each other very well, and that they would live a long life together. No, he did not only believe, he was convinced that they were perfect, that him and Jaehyun were a match made in the magical skies of the romantic world. Jaehyun was Taeyongs destiny, and in Taeyongs head, he was also Jaehyuns. They were the beginning, the middle, and they were going to be the end, and that's what Taeyong thought.</p><p> </p><p>But one day, after his day at the convenient store was over, he was exhausted and ready for a goodnight sleep, cuddling with his warm teddy bear of a boyfriend. His shift had ended a little later than normal, for he had to work the later shift since he had morning classes that day, and now he was finally being left off. There was no doubt that Jaehyun was still awake, that man had a jacked up sleep schedule, so Taeyong decided to stop by a store and buy his favorite brand of ramen and some lemon iced tea for him. He fizzled with excitement at the thought of seeing his long term boyfriend, and was excited to see the look on his face when he saw the drink and the ramen.</p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, Taeyong did not have much money. Jaehyun with his photography skills and waiting job made a lot more money, so he paid for mostly everything. Taeyong tried, he really did, but student debt was a bitch and his job was too. Jaehyun repeatedly told him it was no problem, that he was happy to help, but Taeyong always felt bad. He felt like a leech, not only for Jaehyuns money, but for his attention as well. Taeyong was a clingy person, but Jaehyun always told him he loved him. Taeyong loved that. He loved being loved.</p><p> </p><p>So yes, he was happy to get his boyfriend something. He was happy that when he got home Jaehyun would smile his charming smile, and the oh so iconic dimples would appear on his cheeks. His eyes would turn into crescents and he would welcome Taeyong with his large arms, engulfing him in a warm hug. They would cuddle, eat the ramen, and drink the tea, then sleep. Taeyong was ecstatic.</p><p> </p><p>He got to his apartment around midnight. He remembers the way the air felt that night, so warm and lovely, as if it revolved around Taeyong himself. The stars were ever beautiful, twinkling in their almighty self, accompanied by the soft moon. He remembers the sound of the buzzing streets, and night lights, and the warm glow from the crack of the apartment door. Taeyong put the plastic bags from the shop on one arm, as he fiddle around in his messenger styled bag for the keys to the apartment. As quietly as he could he placed them in the keyhole, and unlocked the door.</p><p> </p><p>Upon entering, the first thing he heard was lewd moans coming from the bedroom. This was not the first Taeyong had heard such a thing though, multiple times he had came home to his boyfriend masturbating or watching some porn on the internet, so he was not necessarily surprised. In fact, he smiled instead, and whispered to himself "pervert." This was such a Jaehyun thing to do, and it only made anticipation itch in his skin.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong gently placed the keys on the kitchen counter top, and headed towards the bedroom door, where a light glow came from beneath the crack of the door. Taeyong vividly remembers this. It was almost a welcome to him, and as he inches closer the sounds from the room only got louder. The volume must be up really loud, he thought, as he slightly grimaced. He fearfully hoped his neighbors could not hear.</p><p> </p><p>"Faster! Faster! Oh yes- yes- oh my god J!" The voice moaned out. It was so real, so desperate, and Taeyong wondered what Jaehyun had found. It did not make him jealous in anyway possible, he had been told he was pretty too many times in bed for him not to feel that way. Jaehyun did that to him, he made Taeyong feel confident, he made him feel beautiful, and he made him feel perfect. Perfect may not be real, or to others at least, but perfection is to each their own, and to Taeyong, everything was perfect. So he grabbed the door handle, and pushed the door open in joy, excitement, and happiness.</p><p> </p><p>Heartbreak is ruthless. Heartbreak can deflate you, it can break you, and it can eat you whole. What once was full, what once was perfect, is now destroyed, and all by heartbreak.</p><p> </p><p>Heartbreak feels no remorse.</p><p> </p><p>Because there, on Taeyong and Jaehyuns bed, was Jaehyun. Jaehyun and another boy, a boy that was not Taeyong. He had blonde hair, matted to his forehead by sweat, on hands and knees with Taeyongs boyfriend right behind him. His mouth hung open and he shut up real quick, going into shock.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong was in shock too.</p><p> </p><p>He had stopped completely. Stopped blinking, stopped breathing, stopped moving, and stopped thinking. All thought, everything inside him, had absolutely left. The feelings that were oh so light and very precious, were now crushed harshly by the sight before him. His mind, one that had been full of colors and imagination was sucked by the brutality of reality, and by the one he loved the most. Jaehyun has cheated on him.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong could not even look at Jaehyun right now. His mind was moving way too fast, and as the inevitable finally began to sink in, his heart began to pound. He felt angry, he felt sad, disgusted, but most of all he felt betrayed. Oh his heart, it was so fragile, a delicate piece of glass, shattered by what he thought was the future. Jaehyun has told him that they were the future. That they were meant to be. That he loved him, and that he deserved to be loved. He had told him they were perfect, and that Taeyong was perfect.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong did not feel that way anymore. His stomach began to rumble, and all the sudden, he could not hold it in anymore. He was emotional, sensitive, and as he finally looked up to his boyfriend in the eye, he broke. Every bit of him was shattered by the mere look of remorse and guilt Jaehyun had. Taeyong was so, so hurt. A broken sob released from him, one so loud, so nasty, and so sad. It was almost a plea, in a way. A plea that this was not real. That this was not happening.</p><p> </p><p>But poor Taeyong, it was real.</p><p> </p><p>And he knew it, he knew it as Jaehyun slowly fell backwards, and the blonde haired male slowly covered himself with the blankets on the bed, tears leaking from his eyes. Taeyong did not care though, his own face was splotched red and his eyes too leaked shiny crystals. He dropped the plastic bag on the floor, and let his arms fall limp.</p><p> </p><p>"Jaehyun," he said, looking at the younger boy desperately. "Jaehyun, tell me this is not what it looks like."</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun only gulped, not being able to bring a word from his throat, as a lump seemed to block it. He looked away, staring at a spot on the sheets.</p><p> </p><p>"Please," Taeyong pleads again, more and more tears shedding from his eyes. "Please Jaehyun, tell me this is not real."</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun finally looked back to Taeyong. The latter had a gaze so intense, but so vulnerable. Every emotion twinkled in those round eyes, the very ones that Jaehyun had in fact fallen for, and it too broke him, just now dawning on him, on what he had done. "Taeyong I-"</p><p> </p><p>That voice, the sorrow, the guilt, Taeyong could not handle, so instead, he fell to his knees. His head hurt so bad, it hurt so incredibly bad, but what were he to do about, as he sobbed into the carpet. The agony he felt was unbearable, and his heart, with each beat, beat with a blazing fury of pain. It was as if he could feel every piece crumble into pieces. He was not good enough for Jaehyun. He was not good enough. He was not perfect enough.</p><p> </p><p>If he were perfect enough, Jaehyun would not have done this. If he were better, he would have loved him, would not have betrayed him, but Taeyong was not good enough. If he were, him and his boyfriend could be eating their ramen by now. They could have been cuddled under the blanket, hand in hand, as they watched some dumb show, and giggle and laugh about their days. They could have fallen asleep together, content by the others presence, and happy that they were just with each other. But Taeyong was not good enough.</p><p> </p><p>He sobbed on his knees, kneeling before his boyfriend. It hurt too much to stand, and he felt as if he owed an apology. He was not good enough and now he was paying the price. This was his fault. It was the only answer. Jaehyun was wonderful, he was magical, soft, kind, caring, gentle, and would always provide comfort. Not for Taeyong though, as he was now just a piece of trash, useless, and needing to be thrown away. Jaehyun had done so many good things for Taeyong, maybe he was tired, and maybe he did not want Taeyong.</p><p> </p><p>This was not the case. Taeyong was no where near trash, and any sane person could see that. The boy tried so hard at everything he did, and would give his all no matter the circumstance. Jaehyun knew this of course, and that was one of the reasons he loved Taeyong. But, does he really love Taeyong if he felt the need to cheat on him? Is the love just wrongly classified, and is instead just admiration? Who knows, but all Jaehyun knew was that he hurt too. His heart, his large, loving heart, was crippling in this moment. At the sight of the eldest boy on his knees, crying,it was painful to watch knowing he was the cause of it. It was all his fault. Taeyong should not cry. He did not deserve this.</p><p> </p><p>He stood up and went to Taeyong. The closer he got, the more his heart shattered, like being tased multiple times in a row, and he felt the heavy burden of guilt. If heartbreak was a bitch, then guilt was a devil. Guilt could and would push you around as if you were a rag doll. Guilt would not stop, until you were so utterly disgusted with yourself to the point where you either want to rip yourself apart even more so everybody would hate you, or, bluntly, die. Guilt was terrible.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun placed a gentle hand on Taeyongs shoulder, and whispered with a cracking voice, "Get up Taeyong. Don't kneel here, get up."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong choked on his sob, having to muster words from him as hard as he possibly could. "Why? Jaehyun, why?" Was all he could say.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun bit his bottom lip. He did not know why. He really did not know why. Unshed tears began to flow from his eyes. He cried, and cried, and though he knew he did not deserve to cry here he was. He was weak in the eyes of himself, but more so of Taeyong. Oh, his beautiful, precious Taeyong. Here he cried in front of an angel, when he did not deserve to. He tried to stop, but he just could not. So, he began to say, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Taeyong. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry."</p><p> </p><p>The sorrow was genuine. Sorrow was such a heavy thing, weighing as much as the moon. Sorrow was good, sorrow was bad, and sorrow was ever comforting to the broken souls. Jaehyun was sorry. Taeyong was sorry, but Taeyong did not think Jaehyun was sorry. So the apology was useless, the words of remorse were not needed. Taeyong looked up from his hands, a red face, and snot covering the bottom half. "You're sorry? Are you? Because you loved me Jaehyun, you loved me, and you told me that. Yet here you are, with somebody that is not me. You are sorry and for what?"</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun was sorry though. He spoke with an intense stare at his lover, "I am Taeyong, I am sorry."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong felt angry. The depressed feeling was still there, but slowly he could feel anger bubble in his heart. The heat of the room seemed to intensify as his face contorted, scrunching up in disbelief. Sorry? He thinks not. "Stop saying that! You are not sorry at all!"</p><p> </p><p>More tears fell from Jaehyuns eyes, "P-please Taeyong. I really am. I do not know what to tell you, or why I did it. I know nothing, but please, please just know I am sorry."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong did not like it when Jaehyun said sorry. Something about it made him want to punch Jaehyuns beautiful face till it was no longer Jaehyun. He was so mad. He had wasted so much time with Jaehyun, all for this. "You do not know what to say? Tell me why you did it then. And stop saying sorry. You do not mean it."</p><p> </p><p>"I do-"</p><p> </p><p>"No you don't!"</p><p> </p><p>"Taeyong, I do."</p><p> </p><p>"You don’t, and I know it. If you meant it, you would have never done it in the first place! So why, why why why?" Taeyong begged, each word more nasty and cracking. With furrowed eyebrows and a twisted mind. All he wanted was to know what he screwed up in order to make Jaehyun not love him anymore. If he knew why, he could at least be at peace, but here Jaehyun was still trying to convince him that he loved him. False hope was everywhere, even in the ones you trust the most. Taeyong just did not expect it form Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun still did not know why. He searched himself for answers, but he could not dig deep enough, for right now, his greatest fear was loosing his angel. His Taeyong, that he did not deserve. His Taeyong that was in unbearable pain, because Jaehyun was pathetic. He was so pathetic. "I do not know why," he said, with all he could. He said it, and Taeyong only rolled his eyes and scoffed. But then, Jaehyun said the words of a double edged sword, "please do not leave me."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong stopped breathing. He stopped and stared at Jaehyun. His face, perfectly sculpted with a chiseled jawline and soft hair. Smooth skin, with heartwarming eyes, and deep dimples. He was ethereal in all senses, and Taeyong loved him with all of him. Taeyong would die for him. He vowed, promised, to never leave him, and yet Jaehyun had already left him. Taeyong was not going to leave Jaehyun, ever, but Jaehyun had already left him.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun had left him.</p><p> </p><p>And heartbreak hurt bad.</p><p> </p><p>For the thousandth time, within the past hour or so, his heart shattered again and again. It was unbearable at this point, the stabbing to his soul that is. It hurt like hell and his head pounded with toxic thoughts. It was too much, all too much. He squeezed his eyes shut, and gripped his thighs, holding them as tight as he could. "Leave you?" He pondered aloud, tears escaping his eyes. "I would never leave you, you know that. I promised you, that I would love you forever, I promised that Jaehyun. Is that why you made love to somebody else? Because you doubted that I would ever leave you? Is that why?"</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun was shocked. "Taeyong, no, that's not it."</p><p> </p><p>"Yes it is. People who love each other do not doubt each other. They do not lie. They never. If you did not doubt me, you would not have asked that question." Taeyong replied in monotone.</p><p> </p><p>Scrambling for an answer, Jaehyun said with a breaking voice, "You know that is not it. I would never do that, never. I know you love me, I know it. I trust you with my life, all of it."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong snorted, "You sure?"</p><p> </p><p>Gulping down, Jaehyun said, "I'm scared Taeyong. I screwed up, big time, and I love you. So so much, that I could explode. Just please, please know that if you leave I will be nothing. You are my everything, and you always will be."</p><p> </p><p>Love works in odd ways. Love is so blinding, so intricate, and ever so dark. Where there is dark, there is light, but in the soft light of the yellow tinted bedroom there was only emptiness. What once flowed with soft giggles and plastered sweat, was now filled with the lying phrase, 'I love you.' Taeyong hated that. He smiled at Jaehyun mockingly, with a tilted head. "I am your everything? Am I now? Well you are my everything. You are literally the reason why I live Jaehyun, you are the only reason. You are my rock. You are my light. You are my home, you fucker. And guess what? I'm never going leave you, but you have already left me."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You've left me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, you've left me. You really have."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He has left you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Stupid, stupid, stupid."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jaehyun does not love you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong laughed, tears leaving from his eyes, rolling down his sharp cheeks. The flood gates that closed were now open again, flowing like a river.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jaehyun probably never loved you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong laughed and laughed, clutching his stomach, not even caring what he looked like right now. Crazy? Probably. Dying love makes you crazy. It makes you insane.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You are not wanted.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong began to beat the floor. The thoughts came and kept on, hitting harder and harder each time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He left.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He kept on an on, hitting the ground. He could hear voices in the background, but they were muffled. He could not understand them, nor did want to.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He is gone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yes, Jaehyun was gone. Taeyong no longer had Jaehyun. It was over, everything was over. He thought back to the times he had with him. From their yearly beach trips to the eating out with friends. To the Thursday date nights to the Wednesday morning coffee break. To the times where they would look up easy baking recipes and try their best to make it work. To the times where they would go to the mall just to go thrifting. To the times at the park where they would collect pebbles, not to skip, but to put in a basket at their apartment. To everything, and every moment Taeyong has shared with Jaehyun. The light, the rainbow, and the vivid dreams that was the time they spent together. Taeyong would miss it. </p><p> </p><p>When Taeyong had finally gotten out of his head, he was closed in a hug. And of course, he knew exactly who was hugging him, no other than the man himself, but it was all more the last straw. If everything else had hurt, this had burned. The arms were like scorching coals trying to melt Taeyong away. It hurt so, so much, it hurt his heart so much physically and it hurts his head so much that it spins and spins. It is hell. It is utterly and terrible hell. Taeyong cries, he cries and cries. He cries for his heart and he cries for his past. He cries for his head and his body and his memories. He sobs.</p><p> </p><p>It was too much. All too much. Taeyong needed to get out, he just needed to. His lungs were closing in, shriveling up into small sacks, and he could no longer breathe. The room was suffocating, and the people were storms. Taeyong had to get out. He had to leave, it was starting to resonate, to seep in, and Taeyong was not ready. He would never be ready.</p><p> </p><p>He violently shook himself, getting out of Jaehyuns grasp. He might of clawed, bit, punched, he did not know, because it was too much. His head was set on getting out, and Taeyong knew there were voices, but those voices were devils in disguise, and he needed to leave before he drowned. It was traumatizing, to say the least, and he knew he was a mess, but it was what heartbreak was.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually he got out. After struggling for what felt like forever, he had gotten out of that treacherous room. Taeyong remembers the exact way he slammed the bedroom door, the way it shook the whole entire apartment. The light that seeped from under the door was so eerie, so ominous. It held a tale he wished he had not seen, so he stumbled backwards, before running towards the front door. He could hear his name being called, but that did not matter.</p><p> </p><p>He was unloved.</p><p> </p><p>This was heartbreak. This was the peak of it. Where you finally lay upon the sword, and allow yourself to sink on. The vulnerability, the agony, the mistrust, the betrayal, seeping through pores of your skin as it tears. Taeyong was finally there, finally. Now, it was officially over. All of it, everything was done. Taeyong was done. What more could he do? Fall at the doors of his friends and mope to them because he's unlovable? They probably did not love him either. This was Jaehyuns fault. All his fault, but Taeyong was the one who masqueraded it. It was all a lie.</p><p> </p><p>And heartbreak does not tell lies, no, heartbreak only tells the truth. It was the master manipulator, and poor Taeyong was its oblivious victim. Yes, he was overran now. His mind was dipping down into the void at this time, his metaphorical nakedness down into the depths of the darkness, sad and mistreated, and completed wasted. He felt compelled to end the brooding darkness, so in an instant, he fell in. The void was dark, it was terrorizing, and it was cold. Taeyong thought he would drown but the only thing that was there were the tiny whispers of the demons of his head. The ones who told him he was worthless and told him he was stupid. The ones who told him he were unloved, and the ones who told him nobody wanted him. These were the demons that told the truth, the manipulators that could control heartbreak.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong found himself in a convenientstore. It was now around three in the morning, a Sunday morning, and Taeyong was on the medicine isle. The harsh fluorescent lighting really did make his cheeks glimmer from tears, it made his hair look all the more tangled and his clothes all the more wrinkled. His fist was tattered and his eyes were red, stained from the downpour from earlier. The boy was beautiful though, he was absolutely beautiful, and even in this deafening state, he still shone like a jewel under the sun.</p><p> </p><p>He of course did not know so. Taeyong instead set one thing. He grabbed different pills, disregarding prices and buying the strongest he could. He got at least three different bottles, assuming that would be enough, and trudged towards the checkout. On his way there, he spotted the candy isle, and on a whim he got butterscotch and taffy. It was an unnecessary purchase, but it felt needed.</p><p> </p><p>Once at the counter, he gently placed each object down, smiling at the lady behind the counter. She offered a tired smile, and began to check out the objects. It felt almost elongated, watching the lady check out each item. Her moments were almost elegant in Taeyongs eyes, and though it might be his deceiving mind, he wished to be as elegant as she were.</p><p> </p><p>When the clerk got to the butterscotch, she commented, "I love butterscotch."</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong did nothing but chuckle, and say, "Me too."</p><p> </p><p>And so he paid, and left. The plastic bag in his hand wrinkled as he went out into the dark of the night. The moon was still above, shining with no mercy, and though it may not be at the height of the night, Taeyong still found it stunningly beautiful. It was so flawed, but that only made it more perfect to him, and tonight he could appreciate that. It was only tonight that he looked to the moon, smiling in delight. For a brief moment, the weight of the void was no longer pulling him under, but enclosing him in its cold arms, saying nothing. It was peaceful, lovely, and content.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong found himself on a oneway street after walking for some time. The street was not of much use, especially at this time of night. It was practically abandoned, which was good for Taeyong. It was perfect, it was quiet, and it was the time; a time of endings. Here, is where the void ended. This is where the void would finally enclose completely, and allow Taeyong to be free. And though one might say, he was in the wrong mind, he was hurt, offended, lost, but at this moment, Taeyong never felt more beautiful. Slowly, he set the bag down, grabbing a piece of butterscotch and popping it into his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>He walked to the middle of the street and looked up. The stars, oh how pretty they were, their gentle twinkling, all day, everyday. The stars would never leave. For an eternity, they would stay, and that was something to admire. You could lay against the grass everyday, look at them, and they look to you, and wish you the happiest of times. Maybe the happiness was in yourself, maybe in others, but the only one who knew was yourself. The only one who could find out was yourself, and on this ever welcoming morning, Taeyong had given up.</p><p> </p><p>Spreading his arms, he smiled. Though he had smiled hours before, this one was his last. This smile was so grand and big that it out shined the moon. It was so beautiful, so amazingly magnificent that none other could ever compare. Taeyong felt high, he felt light. He felt like he was floating, looking to the sky, and forgetting everything. This was a drug, he thought, and it was addicting. This feeling of happiness might have been an illusion, but hell, he would do anything to feel this way everyday.</p><p> </p><p>But, he did.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun did make him feel that way. Taeyongs life had been mediocre, but when he had met Jaehyun, it was so incredibly brilliant. He made friends, met new people, loved his parents more, loved his sister more, but most of all, he loved Jaehyun. The boy had shown Taeyong what was life, and what it meant to live. He had showed him the bad parts but he had also enlightened him with the good parts. Taeyong was so, so fond of Jaehyun. Jaehyun had given him his all, and Taeyong tried to do the same. He tried his best, in everything he did, just to make Jaehyun proud. He smiled more, laughed more, and enjoyed more, and he loved Jaehyun with all his heart.</p><p> </p><p>Dear reader, Taeyong would miss Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>It was not only Jaehyun he would miss, it was everybody. It was his friends, his family, the grocery store clerks and his plants on the kitchen window sill. It was not only Jaehyun that pushed him to this moment though, it was everything. It was life. Though Taeyong would miss every being, he would also not. He was tired, so deathly tired, and just wanted to rest, even if it were just for a little. He was always laughing, every single day, and that was a good thing but he never ever had time to just cry. He never had time just think or to just sit. He was always something, and right now, he wanted to be nothing.</p><p> </p><p>So he grabbed the bag, he grabbed the pills, and he sat on the curb of the road. He popped the bottles open, and took each pill. He does not know how much he took, he did not care, but he knew he took enough. He took reached into his bag that he had been carryingwith him, and for the grand finale, he pulled out an orange bottle. Oh this bottle, the one that saved him many of times would ultimately be the end of him.</p><p> </p><p>He put them on his tongue, and swallowed what was left. He felt happy in this moment, with everything going down. In his mind, he tried to fish up any memory he had of his friends and family. He tried so hard, but the only thing on his mind was his sweet Jaehyun, and though that was not a bad thing, it made his lip quiver. It made him sad, that the last time he would see his precious soulmate was when he was with another man, yet it was bond to happen, so Taeyong opened the bag, and put a butterscotch on his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>And like the candy in his mouth, slowly, he melted away.</p><p> </p><p>This was where heartbreak ended. Heartbreak has many different endings, and each person can end it differently. Whether it be picking the pieces up one by one, getting a new heart, or giving up on it all, it was all the same. Ultimately, it all goes to the same place, but heartbreak only makes it so much harder. It is up to the person to decide whether they want to deal with it or not, and though everyone is different, reader, if you are going through something, there is a life somewhere for you. You will be loved, no matter how terrible you think you are, you can and will be loved. Hell, you probably already are, and it is up to you to determine what love means the most.</p><p> </p><p>It could be self love, or the love of others, but no matter what, you live to find that love because you deserve it. You are important. You matter. And you deserve to find whatever you are looking for. It is your life after all, and to let you know, I appreciate you with my whole heart.</p><p> </p><p>It is hard living, heartbreak makes it that way.</p><p> </p><p>Do not let it make it too hard for you.</p><p> </p><p>And dear reader, Taeyong had died.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>After a while, Taeyong had spread on the news like wildfire. People all around talked about it, not exactly sorry, but sympathetic. It was just they did not know him, and now they never would, and that was the agony of the world. It was just life, and even with Taeyongs soul gone the world still continued to spin, and people still continued to live, but when Jaehyun heard the news, it hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>And shortly after his boyfriend, he too spread on the news like wildfire.</p><p> </p><p>This was guilt, this was sorrow, and this was heartbreak too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>now exiting: Sunday Morning Pills</em>
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  <em>live on, with love, from the author</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope it was okay :) I tried my best when writing and some parts sound a little ramble-y and I apologize for that. Obviously, my writing skills do be lacking, but I was not quite in the best of moods when writing this. </p><p>Thank you for reading though, and have the most splendid day, night, or life. Good bye lovelies!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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